To Believe is To See

(Reflection on the Healing of Bartimaeus, Mark 10:46-52)

     The eyes are windows to the soul, goes a saying.

     But it can also be the other way around. The eyes are also our windows to the physical world. Through these tiny organs, we sense light which sheds color on the world and its wonders. With our sense of sight, we can see the beauty of creation and learn. From this, we can decide what to do with our hands and feet. Our eyes really dictate much of our movements, much more than we realize. With them too we can sense danger and enable us to protect ourselves. Sometimes however they let us experience things we do not want—like ugliness and troubles. At other times, too, they deny us the experience of things we desire when all we see are the negative in us. Still, we do not want to lose them. Our eyes are important to us.

     That is why blindness is viewed as a debilitating condition. If it is acquired by accident, it can really weaken the person. He will have to adjust and to learn to appreciate the world through other senses, and that can really take extraordinary courage and strength. Those who are born with it must have a harder time. As young children, they will experience nothing but darkness and perhaps a confusion of smells, sounds, tastes and textures. If they learn to process these they may find order, but still it will be different from what the majority know. Add this problem to a society’s belief that such condition results from sin and is rightly deserved by the afflicted individual, making him a social outcast, avoided by everyone.

     Bartimaeus, the blind man in the gospel from Mark 10:46-62, must have experienced it all. Poor man! He was not only deprived of his sight. Likely, he had no home and property, too. But worst of all, he was deprived of a name. For Bartimaeus meant the son of Timaeus. His identity was established through his father. He had none of his own. Apparently, the people did not care. They even wanted to deprive him of his voice, for when he tried to call Jesus’ attention they rebuked him. How pathetic can someone get!

     How comforting it must have been for him when Jesus heeded his call, “Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me”! Because of this, he threw aside his only source of security and responded to Jesus’ summon.

     Jesus indeed paid him attention. He stopped, asked for him to be brought before Him and questioned him what he wanted. Bartimaeus naturally wished for his sight to be restored, which Jesus granted saying, “Your faith has healed you.”

     This story is one of the most moving tales surrounding Jesus’ healing, for it shows Jesus’ compassion to the least of society and His response to simple faith. It gives those of us afflicted with various forms of blindness the hope that someday we will be healed.

      Various forms of blindness—yes, not just physical blindness afflict us, and most of the time, we are blind to this fact. Some are blind emotionally; they cannot define their own feelings. Many are blind socially; they are apathetic to the needs of others. A lot more are blind ecologically; we refuse to see that nature has its limits. Most are blind spiritually; we fail to recognize God’s presence in everything and His actions in this world of ours.

      What makes it easy for Jesus to heal Bartimaeus is that because his blindness was physical. Bartimaeus knew what we wanted, that though others repelled him Jesus wouldn’t have, and that He could work wonders in him. This did it. Bartimaeus was healed.

      Do we, like Bartimaeus, want our sight restored? Sometimes, we find it more convenient to stay in the dark. Like physical blindness, however, the other forms also take something from us. Unable to define our feelings, we respond inappropriately to situations, gaining us enemies. Unable to recognize the importance of other people to us, we let injustice prevail, which may rebound to us. Unable to value creation, we experience now climate change and various natural disasters. Unable to sense God, we lose purpose and lead our lives aimlessly. We do not realize this. How can we wish for our healing?

      It must be God’s grace that urged Bartimaeus to call Jesus. Maybe it will also be God’s grace that will enable us to see our own blindness and call Jesus.

      Others will not like it when we expose what we are, but Jesus’ compassion will prevail. Jesus will call us to Him. Now it will take courage to throw our own cloak aside and approach Him and admit to Him what we need, to beg for His mercy. Begging in the eyes of the world makes us lowly. We need to combat our pride to experience Jesus’ healing. It will be worth it, for as Bartimaeus did, we will see. More, we will see Him.

      Isn’t this every Christian’s dream—to see Jesus face to face here and in the afterlife?

      People who receive healing do see. With their faith they find the Lord in themselves, in others, in the world. The maxim “To see is to believe” no longer works. Best of all, at the end of the journey, they will be one with Him – the greatest price of healing.

      How to gain it?

      All it takes is to open the windows of our soul and believe.

      For to believe is to see….

Lord, please grant me Your grace to have knowledge of my own blindness, the courage to admit it though others may not approve of it, the humility to beg for Your healing, and the faith that You will grant my wish. For I want to see. I want to see You most of all.

No Accounting Terms Please

*Asset - 1. A useful or valuable quality, person, or thing; an advantage or resource: proved herself an asset to the company.

2. A valuable item that is owned.

3. A spy working in his or her own country and controlled by the enemy.

4. assets

a. Accounting The entries on a balance sheet showing all properties, both tangible and intangible, and claims against others that may be applied to cover the liabilities of a person or business. Assets can include cash, stock, inventories, property rights, and goodwill.

b. The entire property owned by a person, especially a bankrupt, that can be used to settle debts.

5. opposite of liability

*Liability - 1. The state of being liable.

2.

a. Something for which one is liable; an obligation, responsibility, or debt.

b. liabilities The financial obligations entered in the balance sheet of a business enterprise.

3. Something that holds one back; a handicap.

Assets versus liabilities -- this is not about properties but people. As indicated by the dictionary entries above, the two terms can be applied to us. But I don't think they should be. People are not possessions but free entities. To assign a person even as an asset somehow challenges his or her dignity. That person will always be bound to prove him or herself worthy of the term, to keep him or herself useful no matter what the circumstance is. Although a person can choose to call him/herself an 'instrument,' an object for that matter, terms like that ought to be carefully used with another. As a priest puts it, every person is a subject to love, not an object to own and use. Thus, even when a person holds others back (a 'liability'), he or she still deserves attention. As St. Mary Euphrasia said: "A person is of more value than the world."

More value than the world, yes. Jesus views people as such. When He had His followers, He never relegated them to being 'assets.' He in fact called them 'friends' to share in His joy and sorrow. Even when they turned away from Him and to the eyes of others they became 'liabilities,' He did not put them aside: He forgave them, called them back, healed them and taught them again how to become truly His disciples. This is a challenge to those who avow to become like Jesus: How do they see the people around them now?

While climbing the narrow steps to the top of 'Kamay ni Hesus' yesterday, I had these thoughts: In the not-so-wide path towards God's kingdom, progress is often slow, for the pace of those who follow depend on those who go before them. If one of those ahead should stumble and fall, it does not mean those behind him or her would. However, everyone would have to stop until that person is back on his or her feet. They can allow him or her to do it alone, but it will be better if he or she receives help, not because he or she is the leader but as a co-pilgrim in the journey. No thoughts of asset or liability there.

Reference:

*http://www.thefreedictionary.com

A Message for the Swallow

I first read Oscar Wilde's story "The Happy Prince" when I was in Grade 6. It was in fact not the original version, but a Filipino translation in a Literature book for first year secondary students. I liked it in even then, but I only realized its intended meaning when I reread it in college. It is not just a fairy-tale but a social commentary with some religious undertones.

I am not sharing the story here however. Because of its popularity, it can easily be found in the web. What I would like to do is address the less celebrated of the two major characters in a poem I wrote last night. Somehow, I find that character's plight more interesting.

Here is the poem:

For the Swallow

While you can, take flight, dear Swallow. 
Go where warm air can surely blow 
Look not at the prince's sorrow 
You are not meant to face the snow. 

Fall is the time for you to go 
Spread your wings, ride the southward flow. 
Look not backward but forward so 
Onto where the frost can't follow. 

But if those sapphires weigh on you, 
And you'd rather heed the Statue, 
Be strong till your mission is through 
Sing until your true Home calls you. 

Memorable Things

Random images are appearing in my head of memories and things from my growing up years, and I feel like noting them down here so I can go over them later. 

From Childhood: 

1. My father coming home after one week of being away. He used to stay in Grace Park for work. He only went home every Saturday afternoon. I used to wait for him in our backyard. Back then, we could still see the road from there, and I could recognize my father even from afar with his characteristic walk. The moment I saw him, I would call my sister and we would rush to meet him. 

2. Playing in the field behind our house games like habulan, football, siyato, etc. The field was there till I was ten, when more people arrived and houses began to sprout up instead of palays. 

3. The artesian wells where we fetched water. There were two of them, one behind our house and another about twenty meters away. The bar was heavy, but it's a pleasure seeing the water gush out. The part I hated was carrying the containers. 

4. The ratiles trees we ( my sister usually more than I) used to climb. This we did to pick the fruits. Though not exactly my favorite, I enjoyed filling my pockets with them. 

5. The hand bars we climbed and played on in school. At first, I was afraid of them. I didn't want to fall of course and break my bones. But the moment I learned how to hoist myself up, it was where I'd stay during P.E. 

6. The long walk to GVA. To console myself, I relished the creek we cross, the fields along the way and the uphill climbs. Anyway, I was always either with papa or mama. 

7. The absence of electricity at home. Out of principle, mama would not have illegal connection so that meant kerosene lamp at night and no TV. It also meant more time for reading books, doing homeworks and forming shadows against the wall. I liked these activities, but I'd rather we'd had light. 

8. The few TV shows I could watch as a girl. And I loved them. They were animated series based on classic children's novels. Those in my generation would perhaps remember them: 'Cedie', 'Sarah: ang Munting Prinsesa', Dog of Flanders, 'Remi', 'Peter Pan' and Little Women 2. I would watch them in our friendly neighbor's house when there's no class. Those series fueled my love for literature, but I was not able to read the actual books until college. 

9. Church Music. Maybe it's because that was the type of music I could often hear. 'Pintong Mahiwaga' was one that quite really struck me as a child. 

High School Years: 

1. Fr. Ramon. I learned much from him. His lively homilies, his friendly manner and his dedication to his vocation were really inspiring. 

2. Teaching. I first experienced handling younger children when I volunteered in May Flower Catecheses in 1995. In school, however, I also had such exposure. Every December, we had the opportunity to become student- teachers for one week. Even so, I did not dream of becoming a teacher. It was really challenging for me. I had little patience, being quite temperamental. But I liked sharing knowledge and explaining things, and it's a consolation when my fellow students understood my explanations. I didn't know I'd take it up as a profession. 

2. Journalism. I did not exactly love writing, but whenever I got the inspiration I would pen my thoughts. I tried in for the school paper just for the sake of having an extra-curricular activity. Little did I know when I started that it would open many doors for various experiences. 

4. Ballroom Dancing in 2nd year. Dancing was and still is not my forte. However, our P.E. teacher was so enthusiastic we could not help but try. I think I learned a few basic steps, but I forgot them over the years. (Sigh) 

5. Sweet Tales of St. Tail. It was a Japanese animated series about a modern-day Robin Hood, a girl who steals for a special cause. I know it's not popular because it was shown in RPN, but I really loved it. I also liked other animes back then such as 'The Musketeers', 'Thunder Jet', 'BTX', 'Zenki' and 'Samurai X'. I was not really into the action scenes and sometimes I hated the violence, but I appreciated the different culture, the development of the events as well as the theme. 

6. St. Therese of Lisieux. I was introduced to her in a catechetical ministry gathering at Claret School. She was not the first saint I read about. Back in elementary, I read about St. Teresa of Avila, St. Francis of Assisi and St. Thomas Aquinas. Their lives moved me. However, she made the greatest impression perhaps because of her youth. Until about age 15, I dreamed to become like her (enter the convent at a young age, that is). Then, I thought it was impossible, and I became too distracted with other things. 

7. Titanic. I was in 2nd year when it was shown. I was not able to watch the movie back then, but I saw the trailer, read the history and watched the documentary of its making. Though tragic, I liked it. I also liked its theme song. That made me realized that tragedies had more attraction to me than melodramas. (I wonder if that has changed.) 

College Years: 

1. The trees in the campus. I felt fortunate to be studying in a school where there were lots of trees. It's a comfort to walk in their shade as we moved from one building to another in between classes. 

2. The UP Myth. Part of freshmen orientation was a discussion of myths about UP students and graduates. Even with knowledge of the fact that we really are not a cut above the rest, I could feel the pressure of having to prove myself. It's overwhelming for me because of my introvert nature and so many other insecurities. I told myself that I would do not as what I thought others expected me to but what would suit me. 

3. The Library. My resting place in between classes. I did some catching up on lessons I missed in high school and hunting of literature books I had always thought of reading, but sometimes I'd just sit there or doze my free time off. How I loved to sleep! 

4. Ghost Fighter. This gained popularity in my first year. My all-time favorite anime, I watched the series four times. I remembered hurrying home just to watch it the first time it was aired on GMA. Because of this, I tried to learn Japanese (only tried but I didn't learn.) 

5. Philo 1. It was the only Philo subject I had and our instructor was absent most of the time to boot, yet it was the subject that turned my world upside down. It taught me to doubt, to question my beliefs. This, and then reading about different schools of thoughts and certain disappointments about the Church made me want to distance myself from Catholicism and even from God. I guess what kept me in the Church then were my parents. 

6. Jesuit Music. I came to love it when I worked part-time in the RGS Provincialate. The reception desk was next to the Vocation Directress office, and Sr. Gina whenever she's working would play her CDs. She often played 'Hesus ng Aking Buhay,' and every time I'd hear it I felt like I was the forgiven prodigal child. 

7. The old piano. I had always wanted to learn to play a musical instrument. I could not do well with the guitar, but I thought the keyboard would be easier. Thankfully, the sisters allowed me to practice on the piano in the provincialate. I learned the basics of reading notes in elementary and high school so all I needed was apply them. The first song I practiced on was the 'Theme from the Ice Castles,' but I could no longer play it without copy. It's not that I have become good at it. I still really need formal instruction. 

8. Harry and Morrie. They were my two most favorite literary characters. I was introduced to HP in 3rd year and Tuesdays with Morrie in 4th year. The first I started on out of curiosity and the latter as a course requirement in Developmental Psychology. The outcome, I got hooked to HP and TWM became an inspiration for me, being a teacher like Morrie. They left lessons I don't wish to forget.